Trade Me
I sometimes wonder why I excercise so hard!
Weights - 4 days a week and 2 days of intense cardio activities. I hit the gym religiously almost everyday after work. I walked back home from work 2/3 days a week and after drinks in town!
And I eat like a rabbit! Salad/omelette for dinner, rice bowl for lunch and myoplex and 2 slices of toast for breakfast!
Ok in the weekend, I live like a normal human being and get drunk on friday nights! That probably takes away half my excercise effort.
The last time I got picked up in the gym was a year ago at a Singapore gym! Since then there has been no lucky strikes :-D Even gym boy doesn't notice me! Sigh....I should just stay back at home and be a slob! On a more positive note, there were women who were giving me the stares...heheheh.
But then again, I exercise because I want to stay healthy and not look good but now vanity takes over! Sigh...I wish I look like one of those Abercrombie models!
Catch the Wave
Over the weekend I bought myself my first J POP CD - as suggested by my fellow blogger - Shigeki san. Quite a good CD and it gives you a kind of buzz! Have been listening to the CD since Saturday during my runs and weekend outings! and now my train rides to work.... hehehehe.
I guess the title makes sense to me as it suggests that one should take every opportunity to take catch the wave! ie watch out for every opportunity and cease them. Carpe Dieum! A work opportunity has come upon me and I'm somewhat excited about it but unfortunately it's not on paper. So I'm trying to manage my expectations and at the same time making every effort to seek this opportunity. So watch this space if it happens. If not, it's redundancy and off to my MBA in South Africa.
Now my 3 wishes for today:
1. To wish good health to my family and friends.
2. To wish my family great opportunity in career and business.
3. To wish for my love in life (and the hunk)
Ciao
The Pursuit for Perfection?
I resolve from today onwards that I would not give a damn about what people think about me and I should continue with what I'm doing or comfortable doing. Afterall, life is short and unpredictable and one can't go one living on other's expectations or else any man and dog will be just the same like others. Now wouldn't this be boring.
I also resolve that I would not let work issues eat me up! There are work and there are things to do after work. Leave work behind and move on. Again on expectations (after a performance agreement round), I will do my best to resolve issues and provide concrete solution but if I fall short, that's not my issue but other events that are beyond my control! :-) I'm no longer taking any shit from anyone!
All these came about after spending JPY1,300 to view Rodin's exhibit at the Tokyo Museum of Modern Art. His scuplture - the Thinker and the Gates of Hell have provided some interesting definitions of what I define live.
TGIF
Friday has come and gone and I nearly jumped out of bed this morning when I saw my bedside clock showing 8:20 am!
I then realised that it's Saturday morning and my head was in pain..... What? Another night in town and I can't even remember the route I took to get back home. That's scary...
Dragged my sorry ass to the gym this morning and then snippets of last night drinking came back in drips!
I met someone at the pub who gyms at my local (unfortunately it's not gym boy...sigh). He perked up when he saw me...hmmm or was it the other way round and I swear he's gay (if my gaydar hasn't failed me). We introduced ourselves and I now know someone at the gym.
I brought home someone's lighter.
I danced with someone and I think she was all over me....but that could be my imagination playing up :-)
I visited a 24 hour beef bowl rice and had off course a rice beef bowl ..
I'm still at home and should be going back to work in the afternoon.
Ciao
The decision is simple...
For some reason today, I struggled to find topics to write for my blog. I guess I must run out of issues...and my life is sorted...yeah right! Anyway, after reading Rick's blog today on new year's resolution, I thought it would be an appropriate time to review my new year's resolution.
In my previous years-I would have "misplaced" my list and then only to find this list appearing on the last few days of the year. By then, I would review the list and just laugh at the new year's list and transfer it to the following year. However, since blogging, I have no reason to "misplaced" my list! So here goes the review (based on my January blog)
1. To find love
On finding love, I'm so not there yet! I felt loveless after watching Brokeback Mountain and got really depressed at one stage (well not quite depressed-just need to exaggerate a little...:-))...I guees I need to love before I can expect others to love me. So from that respect, I'm learning to love others again - being family or friends.
Does crushes count? Well for arguement sake-I would include this as well as a beginning (or ending) - my gym boy and one or two fellow bloggers! :-)
2. Be able to communicate in basic Japanese
This I believe is on track. Have picked up basic Japanese-like ordering food at the Iyakasas, Restaurants and giving instructions to the taxi drivers to bring me back home when I'm absolutely drunk. Have also picked up Katakana as well....so that's on track. I just need to use them more often.
3. To travel in Japan covering these places - Sapporo, Kyoto, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Okinawa
Did Kyoto last weekend. So one down and 4 more places to go but then again there are other places to visit which are not listed here. Anyway, they are definitely on my other list!
4. Cooked more at home! (I need to achieve a body fat of 10%)
Well-I must say I'm eating a lot more at home right now. Not sure about the body fat though but my trousers are getting a bit looser and my shoulders/arms looking slightly more defined! However, I'm going to continue with this diet and maybe get a personal trainer again.
5. I need to stop procrastinating!
Hmmmmm.......that's a long way to go!
6. Be in bed by 11:30 pm!
Challenging....considering that I get into my blogs and surfing around this time of the night. Maybe if I don't blog, I should be able to get to bed by 11:30 pm. Good for my skin though!
7. To run the Singapore Half Marathon in under 2 hours.
Another challenging event considering I don't even know whether I'll be in Singapore early December...could be travelling around the world or stuck at month end activities....sigh..
8. Save more!!
Definitely on track!! Got a huge mortgage coming my way soon!
Addicted to coffee
Not sure what they add into the coffee in Starbucks in Japan but they are definitely stronger and drinkable here as compared to the other countries within the Asia/Australiasia countries.
Last weekend i went down to Kyoto for a short break. A 2 1/2 hour shinkansen ride down and we're in another bustling city in Japan. This time the contrast is greater when it comes to blending the old and the new, two civilizations cohabitating next to each other and somehow people seem to thrive in this environment. I have come to a conclusion that people here are more accomodating but not necessary acceptable however they accept some degree of diversity.
Anyway, what I want to stress is when the Starbucks craze hit Asia, it was cool to hang out at Starbucks...after awhile, one grew out of this fashion fad, graduated and moved away when other brands start competing with Starbucks and off course they serve better coffee and there are less "showy' and have less "noisy students" hanging out at the cafes. The more coffee you drink, the thicker and blacker coffee you would appreciate. Give me a expresso fix and I'll be your friend! I stayed away from Starbucks since then...that was almost 5 years ago. Now having been in Tokyo for the last 5 months, I have come to appreciate the coffee at Starbucks again. It's definitely stronger than the other brands here and the latte to survive. Off course they can't compete with Zoff during the weekend. That's my treat!
And when I got off the train at Kyoto Railway station, the first thing I did was to find myself a Starbucks and got my caffine fix for the day! Sad eh?
Double life
I have just finished watching two movies about love. This have made me think about my pathetic loveless life.
I have sometimes wonder what happened if I have lived a double life. One gay and the other straight.. what will happened? . I mean it so easy to lead this double life considering I have been staying away from home and travelled extensively. I could have easily found myself a boyfriend. By then I should have sorted out my life earlier on rather than dealing with this confused life. But then again what's wrong with this life? Nothing really. It's just lonely sometimes but heh work is great. That's my life. But what happens when it comes when work is no longer my life. What is out there for me? This is probably better dealt at another time...
But if I dig deeper-I'm trully living a double life. My home and my blogs are my private life and I'm gay at home. This is probably why I find it so hard to invite friends over to my place......dinner or drinks.
Am I scared of moving on or am I just a loser? Just a thought!
No issues
I just caught up with another colleague of mine and I'm not alone with being shown the cold shoulder! Had a good chat about her and the situation. We came to a conclusion that it;s not our issue! She's the one with the f%^&King problem :-) I'm feeling sorry for her but she's no longer my issue!
Ah well, a significant load taken of my shoulder! And I'm going to enjoy my weekend in Kyoto!
What the F.......
Being a professional colleague and person at work, I decided to ask my colleague why I was given the cold shoulder. So I arranged a meeting to talk about work, she agreed, and then went through some documents with her. In most cases, she would normally just do idle chat after a meeting, but today she can't wait to get out of the room. I followed her out and then just asked her casually -
Ian: Hmmm....did I do anything to annoy you last week? You seem to have given me the cold shoulder. Well if I did something wrong, I'm sorry about it!
Colleague: I have been so busy with work and doing two set of roles....very busy! (and she walks away without looking into my eyes!)...(as if she is the only one who is so freaking busy!!!)
Thinking to myself..... Well - what was that? She didn't even want to spend some time to rectify her actions... Anyway, I have managed to say my peace. I was professional about it and didn't get a response..So what does one do about it Nothing. I have decided to leave this matter and move on with my life. I will still have to work with her...so that's going to be a challange. I'm feeling definitely better and wouldn't give a toss about her right now.
Now, to add my list of problems, another colleague of mine today bit my head off in the project room over a trivial matter! And this colleauge is a she as well. WTF.....must be the time of the month. Things are definitely not going my way this week! Well, need to sort this out tomorrow as well....sigh.
Well on a good note, I saw gym boy in the gym again today :-) Haven't seem him for more than a week. And today my routine was the back and shoulders and guess what he was doing the same set of excercises! :-) Only if I had more guts to start a conversation with him....
Time of the month
Have you ever been in a situation where you were so called "buddy" with your colleague and the next day for some freaking reason-they turn all cold towards you? And start snapping at you with the slightest irratation?
Anyway, this is my situation right now! I believe this colleague of mine - we get on pretty well, hung out at the weekend at bars and cafes and at work I usually try to support her as much as possible, even go all out to help her out. Now she is snapping at me for some reason .....WTF! And I hate this kind of feeling..because I don't know what I have done! I tried to be coy about it but I can't just let it go. This unknown factor and all the sudden coolness is just eating me up. I know I should just let it go but I can't. I keep replaying the events last week and disecting each event to review what has gone wrong and I can't think of anything that I have done to annoy her that badly. And me-the poor naive guy-don't usually annoy others. It's probably the other way round!
Aarrrggghhhh.... I'm blaming this sudden coolness as the time of the month!
My so called perfect date....
Well-work has has been flat out again! What's new for a "not out" broken guy?!
So something easy to read today...nothing too profound or deep. Anyway, I was surfing other blogs and came across this website...pretty cool and decided that I should take this test and check out my so called my partner in crime. The results are as follows - no surprises really!
Your dating personality profile:
Shy - You are often timid around others, though you will open up when the right person comes along.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance.
Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active. | Your date match profile:
Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Stylish - You cannot put up with someone who is lacking in style. You want an original, someone with flare, someone with good taste. |
Your Top Ten Traits
1. Shy
2. Stylish
3. Athletic
4. Wealthy/Ambitious
5. Intellectual
6. Religious
7. Funny
8. Conservative
9. Big-Hearted
10. Practical
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Athletic
2. Conservative
3. Stylish
4. Practical
5. Intellectual
6. Religious
7. Sensual
8. Funny
9. Traditional
10. Outgoing
|
Take the Online
Dating Profile Quiz at
Dating DiversionsSo what are you? Do you fit my profile? :-)
My father's legacy
Today it was suppose to be wine tasting day at a colleagues place but because of the lack of interest, it was cancelled! It was disappointed having another Friday night at home! I was so looking forward to the wine tasting sessions. Must be the alcoholic personality in me talking! It's been a long time since I had a binge drinking night! :-)
Anyway, I dragged my ass to work today (yes-Saturday) and worked till quite late tonight. It wasn't so bad considering it was miserable today- wet and windy! Bloody good excuse to stay indoors -not ideal at the office though but it's dry and warm!
There must be a reason for being sober today! I wanted to write something about my father's legacy and have been meaning to this for awhile. So I decided today would be the day!
It's been 5 years since my father has passed on. I can still remember at the hospital talking to him one moment and next he was gone. He died of a heart attack which was not even expected although he has been sick for the last couple of years. It was simply chaos-being the eldest I had to gather my siblings and my mom-which was probably the hardest. Then I had to call my dad's eldest brother. He took care of informing the relatives. Then we had to organise the funeral etc., It was major stress and at the same time we had to deal with the emotional lost as well. We went on for a couple of days without sleeping-running around, doing errands, organising stuff and talking to relatives/friends. At the same time, my mind was going at 100 km per hour - thinking what to do next. Should I quit my job and move back home to keep an eye on my mom and dad's investment portfolios? Or should I move my mom closer to me? There were major decisions to be made in that week and I'm glad I did not! Do you ever believe in dreams? Well - this was the only time I did! That same night, my dad came back to my dreams and he basically told me not to quit my job. And sure enough, I continued working with the same company for the last 5 years now. I have been to a lot of places and in terms of career progression, I can't ask for more. It has been fantastic. I can only thank him for his guidance.
When the funeral was over, I had one day to recover, gathered my strength, made sure mom was alright and flew back to work! And it was budget round! Damn it! I went back straight to work and put my head down and did 12 hours a day for the next 2 weeks. If you want to avoid mourning, that's probably the best medicine! If I looked back, I wish I had taken another 2 weeks off to mourn but then again what good will it do to me! He's gone and no matter how much I grieve for him, he will never come back to me. Cest la vie. Time to grow up!
What I want to capture my thoughts for today is my father's legacy. I'm afraid as time goes by, I may forget his legacy and this will make me a somewhat less than a good person on planet earth. How best to avoid this? Well write them in my blog....
So here is the legacy...
1. That the family is the single best unit to stay together-we are a family of 3 brothers and 1 sister. And never let sibling rivalry get into any arguments.
2. Believe in yourself. We are not born smart. We have to work hard to get where we want to get to. It's all about planing, learning and a little luck!
3. Be fair but be firm.
4. Friends come and go. There are good ones and there are bad ones. You just need to figure out which one.
5. Be generous and kind to others (in fact he was so generous that friends and relatives took advantage of this. So relatives and friends-be warned, I've marked you and you're would be the last one that I have any respect for you!)
6. He loves his food and whenever I have roast pork - I think of him!
7. And black coffee...
8. His favourite smokes - is Rothmans but I don't smoke.
9. He loves gambling - but I don't. (I'm an accountant)
10. He once told me that the only thing that keeps him up at night is trying to find work for his 100 employees at his company! For that I respect him...Not many of the CEOs believe in staff welfare nowadays.
I hope I have captured everything....
Thanks Dad!
White lies...
Last night I was out with my colleagues! And typical of me, I can't seem to control my intake of drinks and after a while, the so called one limit rule I normally imposed on me turned into at the latest 1 am in the morning. So one can imagine how much alcohol was drunk! As the drinks flow through the night, the conversation topics became blurred and we were no longer talking work!
We were crossing into major personal areas that I usually try to avoid at all cost. Most conversational topics touched on me being single and why I'm not attached yet! Or the lack of me parading my harem... . I blamed it mostly at work - which is 80% true: I worked on average a 10-12 hours a day. The weekends are usually in recovery mode, if not I just can't be f#$&ed doing anything. Being in a new city doesn't help either considering I hardly know any people outside work....Ok, I'm not that bad looking but offcourse I do not have a body to die for (working on it) and I believe I've got some personality... (not bad for an accountant!)...so there will always be questions until I'm hitched!
Colleagues: So Ian what's wrong with you? You have too high expectations!
Ian: Nah, the timing is just not right and I've been working on average 12 hours a day! Where do I find time to find myself a woman.
Colleagues: Look around you buddy! Check her out....stop being so fussy!
Ian: Hmmm.....she looks pretty interesting! No personality though....
Colleauges: Man...you gay or what? Stop being fussy....
Ian: No way I'm fussy mate. Trust me I've lowered my standards! The chick magnetism is no longer there! Just not feeling right now. Just imagine all the alcohol. It will be the beer talking. I'll loose the plot!
Colleauges: Don't be a loser! Just do it buddy.....
Ian: You guys want some more beer? I'll buy the next round.
I'm running out of excuses and ideas to cover up my single hood!
What's with me?
It just occured to me that I'm somehow still feeling and acting like a 28 years old as if time has not move at all. Off course events that have occured over the last couple of years have some how shape my out look of life but I'm not feeling like a 34 year old middle age guy! Is this normal? I know friends and peers of my age - are acting and feeling their age! or have I lost the plot? i don't even dress like a 34 years old. In the weekends most people will mistake me as a university student.
Don't get me wrong - I have a huge mortgage, huge responsibilites at work and have been a manager of a team of accountants and the list goes on....but somehow they just don't stack up? Am I going crazy?
Afterall, I'm just an over worked and underpaid corporate slave. So .... what defines a 34 year old guy?
Sadness...
I got to work early today, by my standards anyway! -was the first one to open the door to the project room!
I set myself up, switched on my laptop and got ready to work when a colleague walked into the room to let us know that my team leader's father had just passed away and won't be at work today. He will be arranging his travel plans back to his home town which is a continent away from Japan. His father died of a heart attack and it was not from a prolonged sickness of anykind! I felt really sorry and sad for him.... for the lost of a loved one is never easy and to make matters worse, it's on the other side of the continent. The travel time will take him almost 2 days to get back home. Just the thought of spending all these hours on the plane to get back home, the waiting time, the sadness, loneliness...and the emptiness.
It took me a couple of seconds for the shock to sink in... my father's passing - 5 years ago still haunts me badly. I missed his presence, his good heartedness and kindness, his generosity, his wise words and guidance. I'm still in mourning even all these years..... it was never easy to loose someone you trully treasure until that person leaves this world.
I should live as if there is no tomorrow but I have taken things for granted....for me today it was a wake up call to see life differently again and I hope I will make better decisions and stop bitching about life too much. Gay or straight, one has to make the best use of one life in this very little time on planet earth.
Just routine stuff..
Just the usual day...
09:30 am: woke up to the sounds of drillings from a near by construction site. Shit!
09:45 am: laundry time - ie dumped my smelly clothes into the machine.
10:00 am: went for a run around the embassies....
10:31 am: bumped into "gym boy" on the way to the gym (and you know what it was really conincidental... I was just thinking about him when I turn into a corner and there he was!! I kind of smiled at him but he was a bit shocked to see me - I think!) Ah well - cest la vie - not meant to be...sigh!
11:15 am: finished weight training (concentrating on the back today)
11:45 am: cooked lunch (tuna pasta with cabbage) and had a shower.
12:10 pm: left home for work (yes again!)
12:20 pm: stopped by at a little cosy stall to get a friend a birthday gift.
12:45 pm: arrived at the subway and realised that I could take the Rapid Line to Narita Airport - (probably will take 2 hours to get there instead of one on the Narita express)
01:10 pm: arrived at work and got Starbucks on the way. worked pretty hard for the next 6 hours!
07:45 pm: left work to go to Roppongi for dinner. Friend's birthday. Had lovely Thai meal ...Gosh the beers went down pretty fast!
11:00 pm: Arrived home and switched on my laptop. Surf the web...and read my "new found" friends' blogs...
01:20 am: Still blogging.... and I should get to bed soon....
Another routine and non eventful day!
Only shower rule!
Today - I broke one my rules on living.
As part of my contibution to society one of my rules is that I do not take a bath (sounds pretty bad eh). In order to conserve water, I usually only shower. The last time I took a bath was almost.... (shit I can't even remember the last time I took a bath) - I finally gave in and soaked myself in a hot bath at home today! The idea of taking a bath was to help my muscles relaxed and ease the pressure points on my shoulder and back. It was simply blissful! It was 10 minutes of silence....no worries about work, no worries about life and no worries about men! The whole time in the bath was simply about me!
Freaking Busy
It's early on Friday morning. I should be in bed by now but I'm not. I'm tired and stressed out from work but somehow half way through the night, I'm re-energised and managed to have a couple of beers with my colleagues! And chatted about nearly every topic about life....
1. When is the ideal age to be married?
2. When is the ideal age to be parents?
3. Why have I taken leave to attend weddings but I'm not married yet or taken?
4. And I still can see myself being single in 5 years time.
5. Latin America is a great place to visit! The Latinos are full of live and they love dancing!
6. And I forgotten how much I love dancing as well! What happen to me?
7. If money and time were not constraints, I'll be off to South Africa to do an MBA. Now this idea now have its life on its own...I just need to make myself redundant and use the money to fund my MBA!
Anyway....more rambling from me! I swear with a double shot latte in the late afternoon from Starbucks
- I was going to fall asleep after the drink. Apparently caffine did not make an impact on me! I must be really tired - that explains why I'm developing ulcers in my mouth, pimples (apparently I have not reached puberty yet!) and I can see more grey strands of hair appearing!
Since Monday, I have put in on average about 12 hours a day! It has been a very stressful week, hardly any sleep, and no gym/excercise. I simply can't understand why the gyms are close by 6 pm on a holiday! shouldn't it open till late so that people like me could squeeze in some time for excercise..... Well its Golden Week in Japan this week and all the offices around us are close for the week EXCEPT poor souls like us!
And its late now! Checking out of the WEB world!
Black Gold
I'm just so sick and irritated with all the news about the spike in oil prices, the Hitler like Iranian President and now the Bolivian president nationalising their oil industry. When the situation favours them, they take the whole world for granted and put us at their mercy. Isn't it about time that we as consumers do something intelligent about this?
Why can't we boycott the use of oil for a week - instead of driving to work, walk or take the public transport? and see who is king......force the prices down! Just imagine all the poor folks in other countries who needs them for a basic requirement!
Go easy on the usage of electricity at home and at work?
Instead of driving a SUV, drive a 1.3 L car?
Use less plastic..... recycle and reuse?
I'm sure if every consumer take advice and work with their best intentions, I'm sure with people power-we should be able to get these guys to notice that we are serious about this!
MBA fishing....
Lately, I have been thinking about my career and the changes going through our Corporate Office! More jobs are being slashed and the good ones that are around are limited and they are probably going to go to people aligned with the new regime. Sigh... I probably won't stand a chance but just tired with the politicking going on!
So, as usual, my mind is playing havoc again! I'm comtemplating about doing an MBA degree....getting a bit lost with my career and life. Taking some time out should get my head cleared! That's the hope though!
If money was not an issue, I'll be off to UCT - University of Cape Town, South Africa next year doing a Masters in Marketing/International Business. Rent my apartment out for a year and settle what ever financial commitments I have now.
Why Cape Town? Because I can't afford an Ivy League school in the US or better still - London Business School, so rather than going to the US and the UK with other schools and come back home broken, I thought it would be beneficial to go somewhere different and out of my comfort zone. Learn a new culture and make new friends from another continent and to top it up Cape Town is beautiful with its Table Mountain. South Africa has a thriving wine industry as well and the standard living is still affordable compared say to the UK! ....and a little bird once told me that the SA men are hunks! (must be all the rugby games they play and the hunting in the wild).... just another wishful thinking! However I must stop procastinating and start plotting.
