On our first Honeymoon...
It was beautiful...
It was excitement....
It was real.....
It was emotional.....
It was special......
It was refreshing.....
and now I understand what is love, care and relationship about!
and to feel all the above emotions in about 7 weeks into our relationship whilst in Auckland, New Zealand. If this was only for 2 days!! It was a definitely a worthwhile trip.
What more can I ask? ....
Labels: Love
I never believed.....
It's been almost 2 weeks since I last blog. I was talking to my friend this evening at my place and she mentioned that I only blog when I am miserable, lost, angry or confused. The happy blogs I had was the last couple of blogs. They have been very erratic and inconsistent in terms of writing and my emotions. I know have to write more and appreciate that I am still very much in love.
Anyway.....
I never believed in love for such a long time.
I never believed I could get out of my comfort zone and embraced myself.
I never believed I could fall in love in such a short time and give my heart away.
I never believed I could get a boy friend and him now being a significant other half within a couple of days.
I never believed I could let go my heart when he is travelling (I miss him so much!)
I never believed I could be beaming with love when I am with him.
I never believed in myself.
How things have changed since the beginning of May. When you least expect it, it will hit you hard. So far I am letting the heart go with it (but sometimes I have these little voices that take control of my inner thoughts-scary if I allow them to control me. I know have to manage them and if I have to discuss my little voices with my significant other half. At least is out in the open). If I can described the feeling - it was like a gush of wind that blew me away towards HIM and our hearts are now joined together (I think - :-) ) and now I am committed to HIM.
My stock list of events that have occured....
- 2 dates.
- 2 long business trips and 2 short ones.
- equal nights at my place and his place.
- countless text messages and emails.
- Hefty phone bills.
- Plenty of honest and open discussions
- Sex? Hmmm..... well a couple of times now.
- Hickeys - 3 to date and I am so embarrassed at work now! :-)
- Sent him off to the airport (2 x)
- Picked him from the airport - once.
- Picked him up from classes - twice
- My stuff at his place and his stuff at my place..... Sweet....:-)
- Countless exchange of gifts (more from his side....he is such a romantic lover)
- Bath/Shower (once)
- More to come.....
I now believe in myself and I;m capable of love as well. I now know how far I can fly and reach for the skies....my relationship with HIM is evidence that there is such thing as love at first sight. In the mean time I am letting my heart take charge. I am firmly a believer of faith and trust. If I didn;t have these, I wouldn't be describing these feelings.
Here is my dedication to my significant other half. Thank you for being a part of my life now.
Over and out.
Labels: Love
Amazing Week
My apologies for not visiting your blogs or even bother to tell you what has happen to me.
Since my date with HIM last week, it has just taken off from that juncture. It has gone so fast that I don't understand some parts of my emotions and being. All I know it feels good to hug him, it feels save to be with him, it just feels right now. And if I don't text him, or speak to him, I know I will be missing him so badly.
He has been on a business trip for the last few days. The distance has allowed us to assess our relationship and it has given us the space as well to decide what we want next. Lots of long distance calls, text messages and emails. It feels he has not left me at all. My heart is with him and his heart with me. For the moment it is JUST right and I like this feeling :-)
Funny, after this week, I have stopped surfing porn, I have stop checking guys (okay-a little) and have also stopped feeling sorry for being gay. All I know is that I want this relationship to be brought to the next level. He is willing to play and I'm aslo willing to lay my cards on the table. I am now letting trust and faith take this relationship to a higher level and I pray and Hope that this is the right decision for the time being. I can't bear to loose him.......and being so independent and alone for the last 20 years doesn't help either. We could both self destruct this relationship before it even started.....
For now, I am not going to think too hard. I am just going to let my heart go with the flow and with his heart, I hope we both can find the right mix that we have been searching for so long and yes finally i can tell myself I so DESERVE this feeling. Thank you GOD , Thank you UNIVERSE.
Labels: Love
