On Coming out to Parents
I wish there is an easy way of coming out to my parents but currently I am living in so called sin!!! I just could one day walk out of my apartment and strike by lighting. Ok - a bit drastic but this is what I am currently feeling.In terms of coming out of the closet process, so far I have not been faced with a serious rejection yet. I am sure there would be "others" out there who just can't stand the sight of gays - I have yet to see that amongst my friends and family members. I have so far managed my immediate family, some cousins and really good friends of mine. So far so good! Thank god for that! Now the hardest part - coming out to my mom without hurting her. Is this possible? plus letting her know that I have finally found my significant other and he is a guy. Wow - that would just see her world crashing in! :-( Now that is something I am not sure if I can even experience the process. There is a need for some emotional strength coming from both side to avoid something of an emotional beakdown. My biggest worry and fear for a 65 year old Asian woman is that she cannot accept her eldest son in the family as gay! I am worried that she may not be strong enough. I am worried that she will reject my love. I am worried that I will embaress her in front of all her relatives (yes we come from a big family). I am afraid that she can't accept my significant other half. I am so damn fucking worried!
But then again it has to be done-my significant other half is moving into my place next week. I can't live a life of lies again. For too long I have denied my true self, I have lived a life full of dark secrets, I have a lived a life of fear. Now I have found love, I found the reason to live again and because she is the only parent I have now, she has to know that her son is still her son and my love and respect for her has not changed.
So the question now is how and when? :-(
Oh god please give me the strength!
Labels: Coming Out
posted by Maximus Leo @ 12:38 AM
5 Comments:
Your fears and my fears are completely the same. I guess, that is one of the things that unites us as gay community.
I wish you the best but i think you should do it gently and maybe just hint at it. Cos coming out straight can be too much for some people to take.
Hmmm...I really do not know what to say... other than to offer you my best wishes and support. It's not easy coming out to someone who expects something other than what/who you are, more so a parent. But even if she does not approve in the first place, when things get settled down, she will see the light and she will realise that nothing has changed and you are still her much-loved son. Your orientation has nothing to do with being her son..and this she must realise. Hopefully, she will be fine with what you're gonna tell her. If it does not happen the way you would like it to, then give her some time. Give her some space for her to mull over. Most importantly, assure her that you are still who you are, and nothing has changed and nothing will ever change in the way you care for and love her. Assure her that you will be cautious and you will take care of yourself when you step into this new realm. Gd luck.
Wow… I haven’t blogged for so long, so many months and now I’m quite happy to read that you are happy in a serious relationship and all this stuff. Now you’ve started living trully, like you said you feel reborn again. As for your mom, YOU know better than anyone, but I will agree with “hcpen” to do it gently and with “boy” to give her some time and some space in the beginning. But congratulations, man, for the overall evolution during the last months!
Thank you for all of your comments and kind words.
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