What is REAL?
I had a very wierd conversation the other day! Not sure whether wierd is the right word to describe it but it was something that usually doesn't happen to me on a daily basis.I went back to work on Sunday in the afternoon to finish off some reports and just before I managed to press the send button on my email system, my cell phone rang!! It was LY - OMG. It has been sometime since I last heard from her! We started off on the usual pleasantaries - how are you? what are you doing etc ? and our conversation sought of died down a little. Then she said she wanted to introduce a girlfriend of hers! Who is really compatabile to me blah blah blah! She asked when I would be free to meet up them. Gosh - I felt pushed into a corner! I said I would like to meet up but I have so many commitments coming up for the next couple of weeks and the only time I could meet up with them would be in April! (Man - that really sound like a pathetic excuse!) She got all a bit defensive and went on about that this friend now knows about me and it was her responsibility to let me know that she has adviced her friend about me! I go what?? What have you committed? Anyway - the converation went back and forth about whether I was interested blah blah blah. And to be honest - I wish I could say that I am not interested and you know what she would ask why anyway! So I decided to take the neutral approach and came up with 1001 excuses. Pathetic eh?
And next I got puched in the gut when she said that I have changed! Since I got back from Japan and I have been very distance and I am no longer "REAL"! So I asked what does it mean to be real? I asked her to provide me with examples to justify her comments and she got really confused. Anyway, I spoke to her for another 20 minutes about my so called definition of friendships and how I view them and cherish them. I also mentioned that I am a very practical guy and friends do come and go in our lifetime. Whether we see this a just life or do we see that as rejection - she could not give me a clear answer.
I tried to see from her point of view and kind of agree that I have changed but that is because I find that the people I use to hang out in the weekends have moved on and I have certainly moved on but she can't seem to comprehend this concept. She got a bit defensive and started to accuse me of being racist (not sure how that fit in our conversation) blah blah blah and that I should be a lot better than another friend of ours! I should have been more open minded, more generous and be more spontaneous.
At that point of time I wanted to say - I had enough of this kind of shit and yes I moved away from you because I don't see any thing that we commanly do now! I got worried that if I got closer to you, you would fall for me and I cannot handle this because I am so fucked up there that I still can;t accept who am I. Okay - I did not say all this but ended our converation cordially. Wish her well and say our good byes. I certainly hope that I would not hear from her for some time. So maybe next time eh?
posted by Maximus Leo @ 12:21 AM
2 Comments:
I thought I was among the few who have the misfortune to experience such a friend who suddenly contact u again to tell you that you have changed...for the worse! Looks like I am not alone.
Somehow, these people always manage to get into my nerves by saying that. It is they whom I feel have changed. They become nosier as they age, they become more opinionated as they age, they think they are right all the time as they age and they think we will die without them by our side.
Funny what makes this world, isn't it?
But I get upset and disappointed why old friends are becoming like that. Wish the friendship can remain as it were, but, alas, like u said, friends do come and go, and I have to accept that loh.
Boy - tell me about this but I just wanted to be nice and entertain her for sometime. I kind of feel sorry for her because of her narrow point of view. Alas, there are people just like her who seem to have an opinion as to whether a person should change or shouldn't change because you are a FRIEND.
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