Just friendships...
I remembered talking to a friend of mine who mentioned that gay relationships are pretty unstable ones! You may be happy and smiling on one day and the next day could be a cruel day. The man of your life decides he wants out because there is this cuter guy with better abs, glutes or biceps and he is younger and desirable! Or he could be shagging another person whilst you're not around or even under your nose because you're so madly in love that you forgive his antics and then one day, he has HIV and you're damned for life.
Or the mardi grass and rave parties - where countless good looking bods gyrating and rubbing each other! (yummy!). Is this what I want? I can't even loose the last 3 kgs of my body fat to get ripped let alone take my shirt off during the rave parties (not that I have gone to one!)
So are all gay relationships that shallow? I'm so paranoid of ending up alone but yet I can't seem to see how this relationship is going to work for me? Where is the level of commitment if this is only one sided! I know I'm in need of love but the reality of finding thie love concept is hard to grasp! I have yet to come across a strong and lasting relationship where both parties have mutual trust and respect for each other and their love is built on this friendship. Growing old together...
As for me, I know I'm a good guy deserving the Mr Right...but right now... i'm just so scared! Or maybe i should instead put my expectations, my longing for love and the need to be free of love of company and companions into good and stable friendships..Just maybe.....
posted by Maximus Leo @ 12:15 AM
3 Comments:
Wow! That's all I can say.
Bandit Talks
I am pretty sure there are some people who are very much relationship oriented. I got out of this 8 year old relationship last year. But I really didn't think we would be split up. But we did.
However, life is about taking risks so you never know how you end up with. You might be able to meet this gorgeous guy. But if you are scared of what would happen which might not happen at all, you would be very nervous about every relationship you will deal with. So enjoy your life and worry less.
On the other hand, my belief right now is "I might die alone and will have to get prepared but if I do meet the one, that would be a huge bonus". Very easy going. :-) Happy thoughts, Ian. Happy thoughts.
Rick - thanks for dropping by! I just read your blog. good stuff!
Shigeki - Wakarimashte! I know what is the right thing to do and is to live the life and less worrying about things that may never happen but then again, I have to decide what is best for me and I'm currently not prepared to loose all. It doesn't really help when you're moving up the career ladder. Thanks for the advice.....
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