Maximus Leo

Just too coincidental....

Ever believe in coincidences? What does it mean to us? Is GOD trying to say something or is it just chance?

Just this week, two events have occured in a way that I don't understand the laws of the universe. What am I suppose to take from these events?

One of my favourite blogs - anonyboy wrote something that sent chills down my spine. Two different people from two different cities in this world have the same similarities - he, in the US and I'm in Japan but we have the same issues - we are still closeted, advance in our careers, have lots of good straight friends who are concerned about our single hood. Getting all the ladies' numbers to get us hooked up! On the other hand, we are obliged to call them and go out dates with them and hopefully it doesn't last because we will come up with 1001 excuses. When we hangout with the boys, we have to do the straight stuff and ogle at ladies but we'll do this in a superficial manner (almost feeling embarrased just to do it!). Then when we compare ourselves with our friends around us - they are either married, or in a relationship, have kids or going to have kids. We have nothing in relationship ....probably this statement is true for me. Both of us are fierecely independent as well. The feeling of solidarity. Then there is the eye game at the gym - both like a certain guy in the gym, average looking and not that muscular build......same situation but different gyms and different cities in this world. Gosh.....I was shocked just to read the blog. Had to take a breather for a couple of seconds to realise that I'm not that "alone" in this world but the message from the blog was incredibly similar.

Then today, I was thinking of getting a hair cut but the hair saloon was packed with people like me trying to get a hair cut on a mid Saturday morning. When I saw the crowd, I decided that I'm not going to queue and went to get lunch instead. As I was crossing, I bumped into Gym guy....was I shocked to see him down at this part of town. He saw me and I saw him. I just gave him a node. He just stared at me....no acknowledgement!

Nevermine, I had to get him out of my head for a while. So manage to do so...until I went to the gym (that was much later in the evening) and bumped into him again at the gym. Now - what do you call that - another chance of meeting? Anyway, there was no acknowledgement as I felt like I was stalking him. So bascially just did my routine and tried not to look at his direction. Felt like a fool! But what can I do? I am too chicken shit to start a conversation. I'll probably be too nervous and will just say the wrong time and this may construe a pick up line (and the gym is not a meat market one would associate with) and to makes matter worse, it doesn't help if he has his head phones in all the time.

So I decided at the end of my gym routine that I was going to put this away and finished up! So left discretly but half cursing myself for not initiating any conversation at all. If the response is reciprocated, then I know what to do and if it's not reciprocated, then I know where I stand......sigh.

Need some confidence feed through my system now!

posted by Maximus Leo @ 11:37 PM