Maximus Leo

What goes around comes around

You know the saying what goes around comes around? Well this statement has some truth behind it....

Now I know how it feels when you like someone but you can never have that someone. You see this person everyday and hope that he/she will noticed you and maybe make an effort to talk or to invite you out for drinks and dinner. You bump into her/him in/at the lift, in the hall way, at the pantry or in the toilet! Maybe this person will notice you eventually. This is a wishfull thinking but at least there is hope but deep down you know that he or she will never be yours. When you see this person, you can't seem to shake that sinking feeling! Your heart somewhat feel punctured and crushed and the only word to describe this is loneliness.

At my previous work place, one of my colleague on my last day came up to me and say she really liked me. I never thought she liked me as she was always coy about me when she was around me. That statement stunt me for a while! Becuase I admired her courage to come up to me and said that to my face. She had to get it out and she did it although she knew I was never going to do anything about it. I know she feel crushed but she did say it anyway. I guess she felt great just to tell me that and if I don't do anything, she know she has done her best. Only wish I could come back to her and say that I'm GAY and would never be interested in her but as a friend she would have my outmost respect.

In my so called non existent love/sex life, there is this guy is at work - I don't work with him but he is from another department. He is a real hotie! Dark, tall and handsome (he has been to the gym alot). When I bump into him, I smile at him or say hello but what good will it do? Maybe he sense it but I'm guessing he is straight as a pole and when I think about this, I know I am out of his reach and my heart keeps crushing down. But this is life and it is at work, there is no time to feel sorry about oneself. Sometimes I wonder why I have to go through this torture and misery. A good looking guy and my type of guy but it is imposible to do anything! Do I deserve this? At least he is away for his Christmas break - it has given me some breathing space!.

posted by Maximus Leo @ 2:12 AM